Edwards Return
by Heyyyymuscles
Summary: After Edward leaves end of New Moon Bella is broken. Jacob is the only soul to console her and soon they fall in love. But what will happen when Edward returns? What must Bella choose? E&B. review please!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

I clenched my eyes shut tightly.  
I couldn't believe it. No, this could not be happening to me...

"_Please! Don't go!" I whispered desperately.  
The cold was piercing every inch of my skin but this pain didn't compare to the agony I felt within._  
"_Jacob ... Kiss me."__  
He obliged willingly and his mouth was suddenly upon mine, moving rhythmically to the sound of my accelerating heart beat. I wanted to pull away but the desire to stay, to satisfy my curiosity, overpowered my weakened thoughts. My only thought was the moment. Me and Jacob – together.__  
The tent was cold, I remember. But the heat from Jacobs's excited body could have melted the snow-caps on the mountains.__He lowered me carefully onto the thick sleeping bag and rolled slowly on top of me.__It was strange how perfectly his body moulded into mine, into every space. It made me feel as though we had been made for this sole purpose.  
It made me feel deeply complete..._

The tears brimmed within my eyelids. I refused to let them fall. I deserved all the pain that they caused.  
Unwillingly, I opened my burning eyes and looked at myself in the mirror, hating the reflection that I saw blankly staring back at me.  
I picked up the item from the floor and looked at my sickening form once more. A deadening numbness had spread its way around my body and had encapsulated my heart.  
I deserve nothing.  
I broke into a sprint, shoving the object in my pocket angrily and started my truck forcefully. The engine roared to life and soon I was at my desired destination.

My meadow shone strangely in the moonlight.  
I laughed to myself bitterly. How ironic it was that the same field that caused me so much happiness with Edward was now the place I chose to dispose of the only evidence to a crime that once could have easily broken his heart.  
Edwards name made me wince with internal pain, but blindly I soldiered on with my task at hand, trying in vain to forget him.  
I smiled weakly to myself as the fire became completed and burned happily in the evening air.  
Breathing deeply, I sat cross legged and tried to calm myself. I hummed the only tune that I could think of.

Edwards lullaby.

"NO!"  
I screamed at myself, furious that I could betray him like this, and threw the test onto the fire.  
I sat down sobbing. Tears rolled down my face as I stared at the roaring fire. I thought that it would have caused me satisfaction to see it destroyed, maybe relief. But instead, I could hear my heart breaking.  
Hours passed.  
I sat until the flames had burnt down to scorching embers and wished that I too had been thrown into the heart of the inferno that I had created.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer again: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters :)  
**

It was three am when I crept into my house and I was careful not to wake Charlie with my heavy footsteps.  
I sneaked into my room and closed the door silently behind me, sliding down to the floor in relief.  
I breathed easily and was suddenly glad that I had shut the window that afternoon. I was alone here for once and I felt thankful for this as a wave of calm washed over me.  
Suddenly, nausea overwhelmed me and I ran out of my room, into the bathroom, cowering over the toilet. What felt like my week's food intake reappeared before my streaming eyes and panting, I shoved my hair into a rough ponytail waiting for the next bout of vomiting to overpower me.  
Only when I was sure that I had finished, I re entered my bedroom.

My heart jolted and I clanged the door shut, wincing at my mistake.  
A silhouette was sat on the end of my bed, its body facing away from mine.  
"You're ignoring me?" I whispered.  
"Is that a question, or a statement?"  
I smiled and made my way over to the bed.  
"Jacob, how the hell did you even get in here?!"  
I closed the curtains with a quick glance around to make sure we were truly alone. I turned around to find him closer than I had anticipated and gave an involuntary shiver.  
"Charlie let me in..." He smirked to himself "Are you cold honey? I could warm you up if you'd like..."  
I smacked him playfully on the arm, ignoring his comment, and collapsed on the bed.  
"So where've you been baby? I've missed you." He looked slightly pained and my heart wrenched. I hated being away from my sunshine.  
"You know, just trying to find some nice clothes for your party –"  
"At three am? Where do you shop?!"  
I stuck my tongue out at him childishly trying with all my might to avoid the question.  
"If you do that again darling, I'm gonna have to chop it off" he murmured in my ear, tickling my neck with his hot breath.  
I giggled and repeated my childish action only to be thrown on my back, his tongue suddenly intertwined with my own. I knotted my fingers in his hair passionately, trying to forget the day's events; trying not to imagine the pale face which reappeared every time I closed my eyes.  
It would kill Jake to know what I thought of when I was with him...

I pulled away from Jacobs eager lips and looked him deep in the eyes. How would he react?  
"Jacob..." I started.  
Suddenly he was tense.  
"What is it? Are you ok?" he sounded panicked "You didn't fall on the way home did you?"  
Slightly offended by his last comment, I continued and ignored the sudden interruption.  
"I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know how you're going to react..." my worry cracked my voice and he held me closer, creating a protective cage around me with his arms.  
"Jacob." There was no easy way to break this news. "Jacob I'm pregnant."  
His face was stunned and he loosened his grip around me. I winced inwardly, readying myself for the rejection.  
"Bella" he whispered my name gruffly in my ear. It was full of emotion, but which, I couldn't tell. "I love you so much"  
I clung to him desperately, still not knowing the result of my outburst. I shouldn't have just blurted it out. I could've done it differently...  
We sat, clinging to each other for what felt like forever, till he moved his hand from around my waist to my stomach and ducked his head under the covers so that his head was on my belly. My heart fluttered wildly.  
"Hello baby. My name is Jake. I'm your... daddy" he looked up at my shocked expression and laughed. I scolded myself for even considering that he might leave._ Not everyone deserts me_ I reminded myself. "But now honey, I think you should look away because I'm going to do things to your mother that you shouldn't know about until you're at least 10 years old..."  
I laughed openly at this and warm relief spread wildly through my body that had nothing to do with my werewolf boyfriend being back in my arms.  
"I love you Bella." He whispered.  
"I love you too."

And I truly meant it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Stephenie Meyer owns the characters.  
**

**A/N - To all those Edward lovers out there, do not fear. He will be back upon us soon enough! Just keep posted :)**

"I can't believe you're ten weeks gone already!" Jacob smiled as I laid in my underwear on his bed.  
I smiled serenely and closed my eyes.  
"I don't want to disturb you. You look so... peaceful" Jake whispered from the edge of the bed. "Do you want me to get you anything honey?"  
I opened my eyes.  
"Could you get me a pickle and banana sandwich?" He laughed at me but I looked earnest. "Oh you're actually serious. Yeah, sure thing baby I'll be right back"  
He kissed me on my forehead and I smiled as I watched him walk out of the room. I didn't deserve him really.

I turned my attention on my newly developed baby bump which I sported proudly. This being said, we decided not to make the news public yet, till it was unavoidably obvious to everyone. By this time I would be back at school and in my final year. This worried me immensely and I banished the panic from my mind.  
I rubbed my stomach unconsciously, tracing my belly button with my finger tip. I felt a tiny hunger pain in my stomach.  
"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaake! Hurry up with that food or I'll shrivel away to nothing in here!"  
Putting my hand flat on my belly my heart jolted with surprise.  
"JAKE! JAKE!"  
"Yes I know Bella, I'm almost done just give me a second here!"  
"NO JAKE COME HERE! IT'S KICKING, OH MY GOD THE BABY'S KICKING!"

He appeared beside my bed at supernatural speed and placed both hands on my belly button. He gasped slightly.  
"In the baby book it said they wouldn't kick till... well not at 10 weeks!" He stared at my belly with an awed expression painted on his face and I giggled.  
"Well maybe our baby is just a very early developer?" I beamed at him and he leaned forward to kiss me.  
I gasped again.  
"Our baby doesn't seem to like you doing that" I teased him slightly but he seemed un-phased, turning his attention to our little foetus.  
"Or maybe she's just jealous?" A smile played on his lips slightly at the thought of this but kissed my belly button.  
"I will never love your mummy more than you my darling, just you remember that." He gave me a sly wink and smiled at the movement again.

I glanced at the clock on his table and started.  
"JAKE! It's 11.30! Why didn't you say!" I jumped out of bed and pulled on my baggy t-shirt and jeans.  
"Damn... I thought you wouldn't notice" He grinned sheepishly and I rolled my eyes, kissing him goodbye.  
"BYE BILLY!" I called into the living room and walked towards the door.  
"Hey, wait!" Jake walked towards me, lifted up my t-shirt and kissed our baby goodbye.  
"Who would've thought that I could've made a fearsome werewolf into such an adorable cub?" I teased him and he laughed, kissing me again.  
"Bye baby, I love you both!"  
"I love you too" I replied.  
And again, I truly meant it.

I jumped in the car and started the hour journey back to my house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Miss Meyer owns all characters :)  
A/N - Short chapter. But for a reason...**

I put the radio on loudly and sang along tunefully, glad that I was half way home. Driving alone scared me slightly. Being left alone to my thoughts didn't help matters, but the music was my saviour in such moments.  
I drove driving for fifteen minutes and suddenly something didn't feel quite right.  
A short, hot white pain seared through my stomach.

I gasped and clutched one hand around me in an attempt to stop the agony.  
Tears were misting my vision and I pulled over, not caring that I was in complete darkness and alone. I felt something dampening my jeans and panic rolled over me.  
I knew what it was. I recognised the smell of iron, salt scented blood which was confirmed by the red liquid on my shaking fingers.  
A wave of nausea hit me and suddenly my head felt dizzy, my vision failed.

"Bella..." Was I dead? "Bella, BELLA! Answer me Bella, please!" The voice sounded worried. I wanted to reach up and touch their face, tell them it was ok.  
Instead, a new sickening ball of torture pulsed its way through my body and made me scream out for him.  
"JAKE? JAKE HELP ME PLEASE!"  
"Bella, listen to me" the voice cracked with extreme agony. "You're going to be fine, I've called an ambulance and it's going to be here soon..."  
"Jake?" I whispered questioningly. I vaguely recognised the voice through the mind numbing pain.  
"He's at home. I'll make sure he knows... I'm so, **so** sorry Bella."  
My mind spun as I tried to understand his apology. Everything was distorted. My vision, my hearing, my mind.  
As I span into a deep depth of darkness I heard it. My lullaby...  
"Edward?" Desperately, I tried to call him but the eternal depth of emptiness was ready to swallow me.

"EDWARD!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer owns the characters as you well know.  
A/N - See, told you it would be worth the wait readers :) This is a slightly longer chapter, so review if you like it so I know if its worth doing more :D  
**

It was all a dream. It must have been all a dream...  
I opened my eyes and a dazzling light pierced my pupils causing them to snap back shut again.  
Curiously, I reopened them and my heart sank like a stone.  
I was alone in a white washed room which smelt very strongly of disinfectant. Pot plants and balloons lined the walls and tables around my bed and an empty chair was stood next to my bed on the left hand side.  
I cried out as the memories came rushing back to me and flooded my mind, making me drown with helplessness.  
"Help! Oh my god somebody help me!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I didn't care where I was. Someone had to call Jacob.  
I buried my head in my hands, sobbing uncontrollably. I felt... empty.  
"Bella?"  
I looked up slowly, adjusting the oxygen tubes that fed into my nose, and my eyes widened with surprise.  
"... Carlisle?" He smiled warmly at me.  
"You're awake I see. You've been out for a while..."  
"How long is a while?"  
"Three days..."  
I winced at this. I must have caused Jake so much worry. One of my hands instinctively went to my stomach and I gasped  
"No..." Carlisle sat on the chair by the bed and took my hand away from my stomach, holding it tightly, and as if this was a conformation for my fears, I gasped with shock.

_My baby. Not my baby please! Please..._

"I'm sorry Bella..."  
"I... Can't... Breathe..." I struggled for breath and fought the temptation to rip off my wires and jump out of the window. The higher it was, the better.  
"I'm so sorry" he whispered gently "You had a miscarriage when you were driving... You lost so much blood we almost lost you too."  
I grimaced.  
"My baby..."  
"She's gone Bella. It seems that the werewolf gene just wasn't compatible with yours..."  
Jake. Where was Jake? I needed to see him.  
"Jacob? Where's Jake?" I said urgently. "Carlisle I need to talk to him!"  
"Bella, he had to... well..."  
"GET ME JACOB, NOW!" I didn't care that strangers walking past were staring at me.  
"Bella please, listen." He said whispering. "Jacob Black couldn't take the strain. He... hasn't been able to come in and visit yet."  
My worst fears were confirmed. My boyfriend could not see his hospitalised other half because he was angry, angry at _me_. I lost him his _baby_.  
"Bella?"  
The room swam in front of my eyes and I fell back onto my pillows, completely numb.  
"Bella?!" The beautiful voice echoed around my empty mind.  
Blissfully, everything went black.

I couldn't take this pain anymore. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. And even though I had returned home, I had turned into a bed ridden zombie.

I woke at around midnight with my arms wrapped around my knees in a foetal position and immediately the tears streamed down my cheeks from under my closed lids. I didn't sob anymore. I had no emotions left to give, I was like a shell - totally numb.  
I pushed myself up a little more in bed and froze. There was someone else in the room with me.  
I searched around the room and saw a shadow stood leaning on the open window.  
"Jacob?"  
I saw the silhouette visibly wince at my question.  
"No Bella. I'm not Jacob Black." The voice sent prickles up my spine. I could tell that voice anywhere.  
"Edward...?" I willed myself to believe that this was true, that this wasn't a dream. He lifted his pale face up to look at mine and I saw that his eyes were as black as night. "I am so sorry."  
In a moment I was in his arms and I broke down into hysterical sobs.  
"Shh honey, shh its ok. I'm here now. I'm back and I'm not leaving you again. Not ever." He cooed, attempting to sooth me by stroking my hair softly. I cried harder and more tears soaked his black jumper.  
"What's wrong?" He lifted my chin to his and I closed my eyes. "Oh." He detached himself from me and started to pace the room, leaving me a duvet for a substitute.  
"So" he said, his voice edgy "Jacob Black hey?" His laugh was bitter to my ears. "And I thought that you couldn't do worse than me."  
Anger boiled up inside my chest and was ready to explode, replacing the earlier wave of mourning.  
"What is that supposed to mean" I hissed, my voice full of venom.  
"Well, this dog, first of all, managed to get you pregnant, then –" His voice was overwhelmed with anger " –his fucked up genome _hurts _you and your poor kid. And THEN, _then_, the mutt doesn't even have the decency to come and see you, to make sure that he hasn't permanently screwed you up." His voice lowered into a menacing growl and he paced more furiously up and down my room.

Disappointment pierced through me like a knife.  
"Is that the only reason you're here?" I whispered. "To make sure that I'm not damaged goods? Because you felt guilty that I broke my promise and got myself hurt?"  
"Bella!" His eyes were wide with fright and he sat at the end of the bed, looking almost afraid to come any closer. "Bella no. I want you back. I can't live without you. Every day, _every single day,_ it hurts as bad as the first. We're meant to be together." His voice had turned to soft velvet and suddenly his face was up close against mine and he traced my cheekbone with a long finger.  
"Do you not care?" He looked puzzled at the question. "Do you not care that I lost a child two weeks ago? Or that I have had sex with Jake?"  
I was bitterly satisfied when a pained grimace flashed across his emotionless face and so I carried on, using the only emotion I was capable of.  
"It was only the once, surely?" He sounded disgusted and his sweet breath tortured my mind and spurred me onwards.  
"Oh no Edward darling," I leant closer into him, brushing past his neck and whispering into his ear, "His hands have been all over me, many a time. And believe me, _I love it._"  
I heard him snap his teeth together in my ear and he stalked off in the direction of my window. I was disgusted that my first show of emotion for two weeks was the one I was experiencing. Guilt flowed readily through my veins and once again my heart felt like it was breaking.

My baby was dead. Edward would leave again.  
And somehow I had to live to pick up the pieces of my life once more.

Edward turned back towards me, his face burning in fury. "Well, if that's how he feels, then why has he not come to visit you once?"  
I closed my eyes at the low shot that Edward just blew. It was true, he hadn't been coping very well, but I got phone calls every day. Jake loved me. Edward walked towards me apologetically but stopped when I protested and silently collapsed on my pillows.  
"Do you know what I would have called it?" I whispered, my voice tortured "I wanted to call her Alice." Tears were now flowing over my cheeks and my voice choked up so it was impossible for me to speak.  
Cautiously he walked back to me, ignoring my pleas to be alone. I felt the bed deepen as his stone body lay next to mine and I relished the cold as his hands lifted my jumper to reveal my stomach. I tried to sit up, but he slowly pushed me back down into a laying position and continued to lift off my jumper.  
Where I was bare he leant forward and kissed me, leaving my skin burning with passion where his lips made contact. It felt as though he was healing my internal holes that had ripped open when my baby was so cruelly taken from me. The tears fell didn't cease when he stayed with me for the night, his arms constantly caressing my stomach in a way which made me feel safe. I missed the way he made me feel complete.

Neither of us slept that night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Right, first to get the important stuff out there -  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. I wish I did, but this is Stephenie Meyer's creation. Lucky.  
**

**Thanks to everyone who has either commented on this or has just read my work in progress. It gives me faith that I might actually be entertaining you guys out there  
:)**

**So heres for you. Enjoy...**

I woke up with the familiar feeling of him looking at me. I opened my eyes to find him lying with his face buried into my side with his eyes looking straight into mine. I was surprised he had stuck around this long.  
"Do you realise how creepy it is when you do that?" I murmured, my voice still thick with sleep.  
"I can't help it if my girlfriend is the most beautiful human on this earth" he smiled up at me and reached up to stroke my face. I closed my eyes, but felt a familiar pang of guilt.

_His girlfriend...?_

My confused state of mind was interrupted by my phone buzzing on the table. I glanced at it casually and froze in horror.  
My boyfriend was calling me.  
Tentatively I answered the phone.  
"Hey..."  
"Hi honey. I just called to make sure that you were up"  
"Well, uhh, that was nice sweetie?" I saw Edwards eyes narrow at the use of my words. Scolding myself inwardly, I continued speaking as casually I could.  
"You do remember what we're doing today, right?" He sounded hurt. I wracked my brains.  
"OH yes, you're taking me shopping for the clothes for your party right?" I suddenly became sombre, remembering the painful memories of telling Jake about my... pregnancy. I swallowed back tears and Edward was immediately by my side, stroking my hair and humming softly in my ear.  
"Uh, yes that's the plan. So I'm almost at your house, I'll come straight in ok?"  
A single tear was brushed from my cheeks by Edward's finger tips and he looked at me, puzzled as I hung up the phone with a pained expression on my face.  
"Edward... You're going to have to go. I'm going shopping today..."  
"Shopping?!" He said incredulously raising an eyebrow "Since when do you shop?"  
"Since I have no nice clothes and have parties to attend maybe?" I was irritated that he spent the night in my bed and was tired by the wave of emotions that I had experienced. But I was too weak to say no to Edward... I loved him.  
Well I certainly used to...  
He looked up at me, his voice soft. "You want me to leave?"  
"Yes."  
His face looked crestfallen.  
"But I can come round again tonight right? I won't let Charlie see me..."  
I closed my eyes, readying myself to stand up for myself for the first time in my life but before I could answer he leant in and whispered in my ear.  
"I'll see you then, then"  
"Edward..."  
I felt him kiss my neck and I snapped my eyes open to find myself completely alone. I panicked. He couldn't stay round. He just couldn't!

_It's ok, I'll just close the windows. He won't be able to get in._  
But somehow, I doubted it myself.

--

It was the tenth shop that we had been in that day and I could see that Jacob was flagging.  
"Come on!" I teased "I'm sure I'll find something in this one..."  
He grumbled and I grabbed his hand, dragging him into the shop. I knew he could've easily stopped me, but smugly I led him into the woman's section.  
"I like this" he told me for the fiftieth time that day. I turned around, preparing myself for a disgusting ensemble but was pleasantly surprised when I saw a little green cocktail dress.  
"I love it!" He looked shocked and I laughed. "I just need to try it on ok?"  
He nodded enthusiastically and was evidently ecstatic that the end was almost in sight.  
The dress looked amazing. It was short, tight and made me feel like a princess. Jacob grinned as I emerged from the dressing rooms the dress in my arms.  
"Does this mean you're buying it?!"  
"Don't sound too shocked babe, but yes. I am so I'll just –"  
"Bella? BELLA!" I heard a voice squealing behind me and turning around, I saw the one person I had hoped I wouldn't see today.  
"Hey Alice" I said weakly, as Jacob squeezed my hand harder questioningly.  
Alice looked at Jacob, confused, and then saw our hands intertwined.  
"Oh right. So you two are...?"  
"Yeah, we're dating." Jacob snarled. He had already made it obvious that he disapproved of my taste in friends.  
"Oh. Well that's... Nice?"  
I rolled my eyes but immediately she started talking to me again, positioning her body away from Jacobs and pretending he wasn't there.  
"We **have** to hang out again soon! You should come round and see everyone again!"  
"You mean you're staying?!" Jacob blurted out rudely. She turned to him, emotionless.  
"Yes" she said coldly. "Did Bella not tell you that we were back?"  
"No. She didn't."  
"Interesting... Anyway, people to see, places to be. Just give me a call when you're free honey!"  
He looked at me with accusing eyes as she sauntered off.  
"Oh" she said turning back, her eyes sparkling "I love the dress!"

We didn't speak on the way home and the silence hurt my ears. We got back into my room and he sat on the edge of my bed, his shoulders visibly tense.  
"Jake?"  
"Yes?"  
"Why are you ignoring me?"  
"I am not ignoring you."  
"The why aren't you speaking to me."  
"Because... I can't believe you _knew_ they were back and didn't think to tell me!"  
Damn. He was more furious than I had originally thought.  
"I'm sorry" I said in a small voice, walking over to him and massaging his back, trying to help his de-stress. He glanced at me, exasperated.  
"I'm not angry with **you **Bella!"  
"Then... why are you angry?"  
"I was just planning on how I can rip your ex's intestines out in the most effective way."  
I laid down on the bed next to him and took his hand, tracing it with a finger that I could see sent electricity through his nerves.  
"Don't do anything rash honey. He's not worth it."  
I kissed him on the mouth in an attempt to sooth him. It seemed to work and I wriggled down and put my head on his chest, stroking it with a finger tip.  
"I've missed you." My voice was a whisper. He put his warm arms around me and pulled me up so he could look into my eyes.  
"I love you Bella. I love you so much."  
He kissed me and rolled me onto my back. I noticed the sky was dark as the window passed my vision and a jolt of panic surged through me.  
"No... Jake no!"  
He looked at me questioningly and I pointed at the window, fluttering my eyelashes as seductively as I could manage.  
"Just let me go and close it at least? It's a little chilly in here..." I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible as I lied.  
"What if I want you right now?"  
"You can wait a minute surely...?"  
"Nope." Grinning, he pinned my arms to the bed, ignoring my protesting and continued kissing me, his hands moving to my waist, undressing me.

I smiled up at him and hugged his bare chest.  
"It's a good thing Charlie's out tonight" He said in my ear, a little out of breath and I laughed, agreeing strongly.  
I covered my bare body with a sheet and propped myself up against the wall.  
"So I bet you're glad that you didn't shut the window now?"  
I froze with horror and Jake took a protective stance before me as the voice sent prickles up my spine.  
Edward stepped out of the darkness, his black eyes tortured and burning with fury. Jacob snarled as he walked towards the bed, jumping up to meet him. Edward looked away in distaste.  
"Oh please dog, put on some trousers at least. I see no glory in the male form."  
Jacob growled threateningly and caught the pair of boxers that I threw at him.  
"Get out. Get out now you leech." He growled.  
"Did Bella not inform you that I was visiting tonight? I thought that it would be just us, but apparently I was called upon for a live show." He sneered at Jake whose body started shaking uncontrollably and I panicked. My room wasn't big enough for him to be morphing into his wolf form.  
"Guys please! Please don't fight" I pleaded with them. They both turned towards me with matching angered expressions on their faces.  
"I see you've also dressed up for the occasion." Edward noted sarcastically looking at me in revulsion.  
_He's not being him. _I reminded myself. _He's angry and his eyes aren't right. It's not his fault._  
But the lingering leer on his face affected me greatly.  
"You _knew_ he was coming?!" Jacob said aghast. "You knew this and you didn't tell me?"  
"He just... invited himself..." I mumbled, knowing that this wasn't a good enough excuse for Jake to forgive me just yet. Edward laughed bitterly to himself.  
"Well I guess I should have waited for the answer."  
I smiled weakly at him, but did not get one in reply. I looked to Jake, who turned his head away from mine and started walking out my door. I jumped up from the bed and followed him into the hallway whilst tripping over my duvet, cursing that I didn't get dressed.  
"Jacob, where are you going?"  
"Home. I guess you didn't want me here tonight Bella."  
"That's not true! I want you to stay" I caught up to him and pulled on his arm so that his eyes looked into mine. "Please?"  
"I'm sorry... Not tonight..." he looked genuinely apologetic which gave me a glimmer of hope. "Just... call me when you've made your choice."  
I scrunched my face up, puzzled.  
"My choice?"  
He shrugged and turned away from me.

"Me or Edward."

**:)**

**I'll update as soon as possible, it being the holidays and all!  
Thanks guys  
xxxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer again: I own nothing. No big shocker there!  
A/N - I struggled to find much more to write about after this. This chapter is a little weird in places (I was experimenting) and V. angsty so it may not be your favourite. But the next one is my last so happy reading :)  
**

I looked at the door in shock as he disappeared into the night. An extreme contrast of emotions bubbled ferociously inside my veins and I kicked the door in my fury.  
"FUCK!" More tears fell from my eyes as I stalked my way back into my room. I had cried more in the last month than I had since... well since Edward had left me.  
I pushed the door open angrily to find him still sat on my bed. I closed my eyes and asked myself what I had done wrong to deserve all the pain.

The clock on my bedside table ticked the seconds of silence away, till he shattered it with a whisper.

"He went then?"  
"No thanks to you Edward."  
He looked at me with a sickened expression on his face and a bubble of guilt exploded in my stomach, leaving me with a violent urge to vomit.  
"I'm so sorry." My voice cracked as more tears threatened to make an appearance to the world. "What did you see?"  
"Enough." He grimaced turned his head away from mine and slid down the wall to the floor and rested my head on my knees, my arms wrapped around my legs. "Why did you do that Bella? I thought we felt the same. I thought that you... loved me."  
I lifted my head in disbelief and shook it slightly.  
"How can you say that? How can you even SAY that?!" I hit the floor with a fist. "You left me Edward. You shattered my heart and you just assume that it can just go back to normal now you're back?!"  
He looked stunned at my sudden anger.  
"You had _sex_ with him. AGAIN! You just can't keep your knickers on can you?" he hissed through his teeth with his eyes fixed firmly on the ground. I stood up and walked over to him. I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to hurt myself. I couldn't carry on with this, with losing everyone that mattered to me in my life. First Edward and the Cullens, then my baby and now Jake... I could see only one possible way of escape.  
"It's ok Edward. I don't think that you'll need to worry yourself over me for much longer. If you'd like to leave now I have some things to attend to urgently."  
"Bella..." he looked at me, expressionless. "Fine –"  
"Please, just leave. You'll hear from me tomorrow maybe."  
I watched him as he strode to the window, taking a sorrowful look back at me as he nimbly jumped out and disappeared into the night.  
I took a deep breath and shut the window.  
_It's fine. I won't be in this position for much longer._

I smiled slightly, my mind tortured of all sense of feeling, of selflessness, and walked calmly to the bathroom picking my item of choice.  
The cold steel blade of the scissors was oddly comforting on my wrist as I sat on the toilet lid and readied myself.  
The first cut was a small one. A drop of blood seeped out of the scratch, only slightly deeper than a paper cut, but it gave me an odd sense of control, of finality. I cut again, deeper and considerably more painful. I closed my eyes, relishing in the pain and blocking it out, replacing it with a numbness which crept around my body and enveloped it completely. Over and over I cut. Deeper and deeper they became and more blood poured out. The sight of the red puddle that collected underneath me, staining my clothes, was enough to make my head swim. My eyes were fuzzy as I slipped off of the toilet and into the blood pool which I had made.

_No more pain. No more pain._

I knew this is what I wanted but I cried out in my last moments of life and soon felt myself being tugged upwards into a veil of blackness.  
I sighed, my last breath filled with a blissful tone, and the veil soon engulfed me.

--

Heaven was a strange place but it was peaceful. There was no pain, no choices, in fact there was nothing apart from the strange humming in my ears. It sounded slightly like the mutterings of a mad man whose frantic and mumbled words penetrated my hearing. I frowned slightly and grew progressively irritated. This was _my_ heaven. I wanted it quiet.  
I opened my eyes slightly and to my distress, I could see my crumpled body on the floor. I snapped them shut again into the darkness. What the hell was going on.  
I opened them again and saw that I was knelt in my bathroom, my hands holding the dead versions own. The voices in my head grew sharper suddenly and I felt my mouth moving along to one part of a conversation.  
"Alice" I said, but my voice was bizarrely lower than my usual high pitched wail, and a hint of panic and torture punctured it. "Alice, I'm too late. She's... dead."  
My mind became clearer and I heard another voice from somewhere.  
"No! No, she can't be... I didn't see this! How could I not have SEEN this?!" I heard Alice's voice crack with emotion. "Edward DO something!"  
I let go of my hand and hung up the phone. In a swift movement which startled me, I scooped myself up and sprinted out my house. I... I couldn't be. My mind shifted and suddenly I felt like I was one. One with Edward's mind.

"_Come on Bella, come back to me..." I reached down and kissed her on the lips, feeling like Prince Charming trying to wake my very own Sleeping Beauty. In no time at all I was back at home and ran into the dining room, placing Bella carefully onto the dining room table._  
"_CARLISLE!" I yelled loudly. He could've heard me anyway but panic had overtaken my system. He appeared at the doorway, his face as white as a sheet and his medical gloves already pulled on. I started to pace the room, wild thoughts escalating out of control in my mind as I saw him work on her.  
The smell of her blood drove me insane. With this coupled with the fury that burned through my veins from the days events, I was honestly surprised that I managed to prevent myself from jumping on the table and draining her body dry._  
I love her _I told myself. _I love her, I love her, I love her.  
_The Volturi would be my obvious choice if... I felt myself gulp... If she doesn't wake.  
I checked up on Bella's progress through Carlisles mind again but I found it didn't help. Not even slightly. The painful panic still raged through my heart as I felt it slowly breaking with every beat of her slowing heartbeat._  
"_Carlisle, what's going on?" He stopped stitching her wounds and stepped back from the table._  
"_I'm... I'm really sorry Edward..."_  
"_NO!"_

"NO!" I screamed, trying to tear myself away from Edwards mind but feeling myself being sucked back into its deep depths. It was almost as if he tried to cling to every memory of me and clawed my consciousness back into his.  
"EDWARD LET ME GO." I knew he couldn't hear me, but I could feel myself getting stronger with every moment. I groaned to myself with all the effort involved. Dying wasn't supposed to be this hard.  
One last push...

I gasped. My whole body shook with pain and fear. Was I still dead?  
"Edward?" I whispered. My throat was raw and felt like someone had plunged a knife down into it.  
I felt weak and my head span with the effort of speaking.  
A swift breeze rustled my hair as he raced to my side.  
"Bella!" He took my hand and kissed it, keeping it to his cheek and letting my stroke his face. "Never, _ever_ scare me like that again!"  
"I'm so sorry... it's just... it was all too much. I'm so sorry..."  
"It's not your fault honey. It's me who should be apologising."  
"It's not your fault!" I smiled weakly at the thought. "It's not easy being you."  
He looked at me with a puzzled frown but continued. "But I didn't know how much pain it caused you for me to leave... and come back." His eyes left mine and looked at the floor guiltily.  
"No... no Edward." My eyes widened with horror as I suddenly realised what he was thinking. "You can't leave me again! You... can't..." My chest heaved with heavy sobs and I felt him take me in his arms.  
"Edward, careful, she's still fragile..." I heard Carlisle murmur in his ear and in a second I felt myself being placed onto the queen size bed which consumed Edwards' room. I felt the slow release of sleep tugging on my mind but I gazed up at Edwards loving gaze before I fell asleep, so I could try to banish the nightmares that threatened to engulf me.  
"I will never, _ever, _leave you again darling." His voice was intense and he kissed my bandaged wrists as if he tried to heal the wounds beneath them.  
"No. You don't mean that..." I frowned and tried to keep a grip on consciousness to make him understand but his comforting humming in my ear was determined for a fight. My eyelids drooped unwillingly as his lullaby won, seeping through my mind like a slow creeping fog and drove me into a deep slumber which I knew that I would wake from without Edward by my side.

**I hope you enjoyed. The next chapter will be up very soon, I promise.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing :)  
This is the last chapter as I am officially tying up the loose ends here. Well as well as I could anyway. It has a different feel in this, a slightly lighter mood!  
Thank you for my reviewers and avid readers out there!  
My next story will be up sometime soon I'm sure so keep checking my profile.  
Look out for it guys!  
Enjoy...  
**

I was warm when I woke. Unnervingly warm.  
I sat up and I knew I was alone by the lack of a chilling body next to me. A small note lay on the pillow beside me and I read it with shaking hands.

_My dearest Bella, if you read this it means that I am still out hunting. Help yourself to as much food as you'd like and wait for me here.  
Yours forever, Edward._

I smiled slightly and sighed blissfully, though my happy bubble was suddenly popped as I looked at my bandaged wrists and frowned. Unwrapping the material slowly I caught my breath as the sight of my wounds made me fully realise the damage I had done. I had actually tried to escape. I had tried to end... _everything. _I couldn't even comprehend what that would have meant for Edward. I shuddered slightly from the thought, but also from the chill that crept over me, sending goose bumps over my skin.  
I looked down and saw that I was dressed in a silk slip on and gasped in embarrassment. Damn Alice and her wide wardrobe collection. I had to change out of this before he came back and thought that it was a purposeful choice.  
I stomped loudly across the landing and walked into the bathroom. Sigh. My hair was like a birds nest and my makeup was smudged beyond all recognition. Eurgh. Not pretty. I sighed and walked out of the bathroom, not caring about my state.

_It's not like anyone is in. They're all out hunting for lions and bears._

I frowned as I heard a floorboard creak noisily behind me. Oh god. Slowly I swivelled on my heels and screamed as I saw Emmett stood in the doorway of his room, grinning like a madman.  
"EMMETT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I screeched at him, trying to be heard over his deafening guffaws.  
"Nice nighty Bells." He winked at me and continued curling up in laughter. I glared at him as much as was physically possible in the pure horror that jolted through my veins and backed away from him into Alice's room, with Emmett yelling "I WON'T FORGET THIS LOVE!" as I slammed the door behind me. I could still hear his booming laughter as he retired into his own room and I shrivelled with embarrassment.

I turned and faced Alice's room and saw my goal immediately. There was no doubt as to the location of her closet. The gilded double doors greeted me with a stab of fear and as I pushed them open, my mouth fell wide open at the sight that met me.  
Literally hundreds of garments were stacked, hung and piled in ceiling high shelving along each wall. I glimpsed sightings of ball gowns, what seemed like a million pair of shoes and shorts before I managed to find the section I was looking for - night wear. I looked at the piles in dismay and wished that I had some sort of style sense. Sighing I prepared myself and I pulled out a long cotton nightdress and screwed my nose up. It was not nice. This was going to take a while. I threw it on the nearest chair and continued with my search.  
Eventually, after a second chair had to be used for the reject pyjamas, I struck gold. I pulled on the pair of white and black polka dot long sleeved pyjamas and smiled to myself. Not a bad choice for a style reject hey! I trudged over to the mirror and hoped that she didn't mind my use of her makeup remover. I looked at myself in the mirror again, slightly happier with my appearance and readied myself to face Emmett's soul crushing laughter once again.

I slowly peeked my head around the door and a bubble of relief rose in my stomach as I scurried back to Edwards room and slammed the door behind me.  
"Bella?" Edward raised one eyebrow as my face flushed colourfully. I was so worried about Emmett seeing me, I hadn't thought whether Edward would be back or not. I smiled at him weakly."What is that in your hands?"  
The silk nightdress fell to floor and his eyebrow looked as though it would disappear into his hair. His eyes sparkled.  
"No. It's not what you think Edward!" He leapt off of the bed and within a second my face was cupped between his two hands.  
"That's a real shame... It would have gone lovely with your hair..." His eyes smouldered as he stroked one finger down my cheekbone and a shiver shot up my spine. A smile played upon his lips as he saw my body react.  
"I would..." my breathy whisper tickled his neck and he groaned slightly. "But you know I can't."  
He dropped his hands from my face and looked slightly shocked.  
"Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

I hesitated.

"What... what about Jake...?"  
"I think he already knows your choice honey, considering the phone call he was waiting for has not been made yet, has it?"  
"Oh."  
He curved his hands round my waist, pulling me into him and I put my head on his smooth, cold chest. We stood swaying to the peaceful silence that surrounded us, till I heard Edward smother a snigger. He looked away at the floor with a smirk plastered on his face. I knew what he was thinking of at once.  
"... what is it?" I said, suspiciously.  
"Well, err, Emmetts stood just outside the door..."  
I felt the red rise in my face and I hid under my hair as Edward openly laughed at the image that was being sent through his mind. He feigned a hurt expression. "So you'll dress up for my brother but not for me huh?"  
The colour of my face grew a shade darker.  
"I'm going to _kill_ that boy." I hissed angrily but Edward distracted me from my task, his eyes ablaze.  
"Do I still not get to see? Even after that naughty preview?"  
I composed myself as best as I could, raising one eyebrow and kissing him on the mouth softly. My mouth lingered on his a little too long but as I moved them away again, he crushed them back together fiercely, taking me by surprise. With inhuman speed I was soon, but not unwillingly, pinned on the bed.  
The day went too quickly.

I woke up smiling that morning.  
"_Yours forever"_ I quoted his note in my mind and grinned.

Hell yes.


End file.
